Changes
Life as we know it…
As many of you already know, my husband’s older sister Kara has been living with us for the last 11 years. Kara will be 51 years old this month. Kara has Down Syndrome, and quite the personality! It seems like everybody in town knows Kara, and she doesn’t hesitate to run up and hug anyone she sees! When she first came to live with us, my husband initially told me that she would be with us for about 5 years and then she would move on to stay with another sibling (he is one of 10 children). Somehow, that 5 years quickly turned in to 11..but the time has come for Kara to move on and begin living with another one of her sisters.
Life will be different without Kara in our house. I could write an entire post on “Kara-isms”, but I’ll just say that our lives have been very busy for several years now. There were 7 children in our home, and the youngest was only 5 years old when she came to stay. He is 16 now, driving, and working when he’s not in school or football practice. The rest of our children are grown. Now that Kara is gone, I will be experiencing something that I haven’t experienced since I was 17 years old.
I can come and go as I wish.
Now, that might not seem to be a big deal to most of you..but it is to me. You see, I was a teen mom. My oldest son was born two months before my 18th birthday. This is the first time since I was 17 that I won’t have to find a sitter if I want to go out and do things. I’ve always had children in the home, and even when the children were all old enough to care for themselves, I still had to find someone to watch Kara. I’ll be 52 years old in April. That’s a LONG time!
Having a large family with so many kids kept us busy. I had three from my first marriage, my husband had three, and we have one son together. All of the kids lived with us as their primary residence for the first several years we were married. His kids would go to Colorado each summer to visit their mother, and mine would sometimes spend weekends at their father’s home..but the majority of the time we were just one big, chaotic family in our home. When Kara came to live with us we had children ages 5, 10, 12, 14, 16, and 19 still at home.
Many of our kids were active in sports or other activities. My husband is a truck driver, and worked evenings often. We purposely worked opposite schedules in order for one of us to be home for the kids and Kara, but it was difficult. I can remember desperately trying to figure out how to get three different kids to three different practices at the same time, all the while struggling to drag Kara along with me while she complained she wanted to “go home”. I can remember cramming the kids and Kara into the minivan to go watch one game after another. There were several times that Kara would decide to be stubborn, fold her arms, and refuse to get out of the van. She didn’t like leaving the comfort of her house to go running around until nine or ten most nights. We made it through those days, somehow.
Time for me
Beginning this week, I can do some of the little things that many would take for granted. I can go to work early, or stay at the office later. If I want to go watch a movie in the theater, I’ll go. If I want to take a water aerobics class with my friends or my sister, I can do it without having to try to make sitter arrangements. I don’t have to cook an evening meal if I don’t feel like it, or I can wait and eat when I get hungry (instead of heading to the kitchen immediately after work). My husband and I can have “date nights” whenever we feel like it. We can go camping, and both of us can stay at the lake overnight if we wish. I can go on weekend trips with my sister or friends and not have to worry about getting back before my husband has to leave for work on Sunday. I can go to my son’s football games without worry. Hopefully this doesn’t sound selfish, but life has been exhausting and I’m ready to relax a bit.
Life will be different.
I’m not saying that I don’t miss the days of activities and a houseful of happy voices. Okay, those voices were probably only happy 10% of the time..but it still sounded good. I do think back and miss the ball games, the plays, school concerts, etc. I still have two more years of football games with my youngest, and I intend to enjoy them. I’ll miss Kara’s good mood days, her serenades and dancing performances, and her hugs. Life with Kara taught all of my children patience, acceptance, and tolerance. Any one of them would come to her defense if they felt she was being mistreated, or even when people stared when we went out. They learned to educate others that questioned what was “wrong” with Kara. I know she will have a good time and entertain her sister’s family as well.
But, the freedom.. I just can’t wait for the freedom to come and go as I please!
Anybody want to go to a movie? 🙂
