Lorna’s Story: Ovarian Cancer Sucks!

I am the youngest of four children.  Jan is 14 years older than me,  Jon is 12 years older than me, and Lorna was the closest to me in age at 8 years older.  Jan and Jon both moved out when I was young, but this is the story of Lorna.  The focus of this post will be Lorna and memories that I shared with her, but I know that my family members have many more memories of good times with her.  I’d like to encourage anyone that knew Lorna to share some of those memories in the comments, as she touched so many people.

Early Days

I was a brat.  Lorna had to babysit me every day of every summer, while my parents worked.  I think it is safe to say that this was probably NOT the way she really wanted to spend her summers, but Lorna always did anything that my parents asked.  Of all four kids, she was the good child.  Jan was a holy terror (or so I’ve been told), Jon was the only boy, I was the baby and a teeny tiny bit spoiled,  and Lorna was the sweet one.

She was sweet to everybody except her bratty little sister that she had to watch every day.  Oh, my…I know she hated watching me.  Every day she would call me every name in the book!  I would write down every word she called me throughout the day, in a little notebook.  When our mom came home from work, I would be waiting at the doorway with my little “Lorna’s naughty word notebook”, ready to pounce with every single bad thing she had said to me during the day.  Mom never believed me.

Lorna would never say things like that.  I can still see the smirk on my sister’s face when mom would tell me to put the notebook up.  🙂

Let me clarify…Lorna wasn’t ALWAYS mean to me.  Most Saturday nights she would again be stuck watching me.  We would watch the tv show EMERGENCY, and she would make us a delicious dinner of hamburger mixed with pork-n-beans, or macaroni and cheese.  Sometimes we would even order pizza. It’s funny, but I cannot recall her ever cussing me out or calling me names on Saturday nights.  It was always a good time.

Jr/Sr High and College

Lorna was a hard act to follow in school. She was polite, well-behaved, and a very good student.  Even though she was several years older, we had many of the same teachers in elementary and junior high.  It always irritated me when teachers would ask if Lorna was my older sister, because they were in for a surprise if they thought I was anything like her!

Lorna gave the graduation speech at her high school graduation. It was the best graduation speech I have ever heard, entertaining and hilarious.  She was so talented.  Not only was she a talented writer, she was also a great actress.  I loved watching her in plays when she was in high school and college.  Of course, I was still a brat..so I made fun of her performances.  Deep inside I was so very proud that she was my big sister.

Lorna used to let me go to some of her play practices at Barton Community College ( I think it was called Barton Community Junior College back then).  To this day, I still remember all of the words to every song in “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”.  Even after college she was active in community theater.  I believe that my love of theater began with her.

Cancer

After Lorna received her teaching degree, she taught out of town for a few years.  I was so excited when she took a teaching position in our town, because this meant she would be moving back.  I was married by this time, but I spent every Sunday morning at Lorna’s house.  She made a pot of coffee, I brought cinnamon rolls, and we watched VH-1 videos while we visited for hours.  We did this every Sunday.  We called it our  “Sunday thing”.

She taught English at El Dorado High School.  It was October of 1990 when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. They discovered a large, malignant tumor, the size of a soccer ball. Lorna had a complete hysterectomy, followed by several rounds of chemotherapy.

Even though the chemo made her very sick, she kept her humor through it all.  Rumor has it that she had even made a plan with one of her students to paint a globe on her bald head if she lost all of her hair! She purchased a wig, but the wigs were made for completely bald heads…and she didn’t lose ALL of her hair.  She lost a lot of it, but not all. No wig. No globe painted on the bald head.  Dang it!

Lorna’s oncologist suggested that she drink a milkshake a day during chemo, to keep her strength up.  He also told her she would probably lose a bunch of weight during this time. She followed doctor’s orders, and gained eighty pounds during treatment!

Lorna also joked around a lot during this time.  She found a huge sign that she wanted to buy and hang above her door.  The sign said WELCOME TO MY PITY PARTY.  She jokingly used the cancer as an excuse for everything…if she was late to something it was “because I have cancer”…if she forgot something it was “because I have cancer”, etc.  It became a running joke to blame everything that ever happened on the cancer.  Because she was so sick, she spent a lot of days at home in front of the television. Home shopping network was new back then, and Lorna ordered, and ordered, and ordered!  She acquired a complete new wardrobe, kitchen gadgets, household furnishings…and a bunch of credit card debt! I remember her telling me that she probably wouldn’t be around to pay it all off, so why not have a good time?

Well, guess what?  She didn’t die.  After all of her treatments, she was cancer free.  It was a miracle.  I think she was so happy to be alive that she didn’t even mind all the debt she had accrued.

The next twenty years…

Not only did Lorna survive, she went on to get her Masters Degree and became a vocational rehabilitation counselor.  She worked for the state Social and Rehabilitation Services for several years before making the decision to get back into teaching.  Lorna obtained a job as a vocational coordinator at El Dorado High School before deciding to go back to school once again and became a vision specialist with the Special Education Department.

Every year, for twenty years, Lorna took the CA-125 marker blood test to assure that her ovarian cancer was gone.  Every year, it was negative.  After twenty years cancer free, she was told that she would only have to take the test once every three years.

Not again…

As fate would have it, things took a big turn.  Lorna had purchased a duplex with plans for her to live on one side and our parents on the other, so that she could look after them in their old age.

Life doesn’t always go as planned.  Our father passed away, and our mother was admitted to a nursing facility due to a massive stroke.  Lorna began to feel very ill.  Initially she was diagnosed with depression due to the events that had taken place, as she was extremely close to both of our parents.  Even though depression can manifest itself physically, we knew there was something more going on.

Finally, at the insistence of our older sister Jan, she made an appointment with her primary care physician.  I went with her to the appointment as a support, to assure that she told her doctor all of her symptoms. Since she had been experiencing abdominal pain, bloating, and nausea, we requested another CA-125 test and a CT scan.  The following afternoon she received a phone call.  CA-125 level was 800 (normal is under 35).  The CT scan revealed several nodules throughout her abdomen.  She received this call on September 8, 2011.

Lorna was admitted to the hospital on September 13, 2011 for further testing. The cancer was back, and had spread throughout her body.  The next few days in ICU are a blur of friends, family, and tears.  Jan, Jon, and I took turns staying at the hospital with Lorna.  She was given six months, at the longest.  Plans were made to move her to the hospice floor, as we were told she would not be coming home. The nurses in ICU helped with an elaborate plan to sneak one of Lorna’s beloved cats up to the hospital to visit her one last time in the hospital.

It was my day to sit with Lorna, and she was feeling a bit better.  We had a great conversation sharing memories, and talking about life and death.  She wanted to discuss funeral plans.  We brainstormed to think of songs to play at the funeral, and she decided that she wanted one of her favorite songs of all time to be played.  This song was “The Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog.  I have to laugh as I remember her saying “Find a recording of Kermit , not some dumb person trying to sound like Kermit.”  Then she said…”not Jan.”   🙂 She knew our older sister all too well, and she did NOT want Jan singing at her funeral!

She then handed me a piece of paper and pen, and started telling me who she wanted to give certain items to, such as her cane collection.  I wrote it down exactly as she said it.  We discussed the fact that she wished she could go to the casino one more time, but since it couldn’t happen, she wanted me to bring a bunch of board games up to the hospital.  We arranged for me to bring the games the next day.  I smiled and told her I would see her tomorrow and beat her at a game.

I walked out of her room, not realizing that was the last time I would ever see her.  The next morning as I was driving to the hospital, my brother called…in tears.  She was gone.  The date was September 24, 2011.  She was gone three weeks after finding out the cancer was back.

Always missed…

The loss of Lorna affected us all deeply.  I’m telling my story, but I know that my brother and sister were devastated as well.

Jan and Lorna were so close and I know that her loss has been the catalyst for Jan to retire early and enjoy each and every day of her life.  My brother didn’t live close, but was still close to her and he was the one with her when she took her last breath.

All of our children loved their “cool” aunt Lorna that always found time for them, and did many fun things with them.  She took them on 8th grade graduation trips, thoughtfully picked out the perfect birthday and Christmas gifts, cookie baking days with Delaney, and was a mentor to all.

We weren’t sure if Lorna was going to survive back in 1990, and we were given an additional 21 GREAT years with her.  For this, we are thankful.

Lorna Holmes Memorial Scholarship

Lorna had a special place in her heart for those with disabilities. When she passed away, we established a scholarship at El Dorado High School.  The Lorna Holmes Memorial Scholarship has no specific GPA criteria, but priority is given to any student with a disability or going into a field in which they work with the disabled.

Although this is priority criteria, all students are encouraged to apply as that is not a requirement to receive the scholarship.  This year, the scholarship was actually given to a student that was active in the drama department. Lorna would have been so pleased with this, as theater was very close to her heart as well.

The scholarship will continue as long as there are funds for it.  We hope to keep this scholarship active for many years, so that future graduates can continue to keep Lorna’s memory alive.

If you would like to contribute to this scholarship, donations can be sent to the address in the photo below.  Please specify that funds are for the Lorna Holmes scholarship.  Thanks! We miss you, Lorna. 🙂