May 10, 2019

More Than One Side

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I was playing with a Rubik’s cube the other day and showed my grandson when I finished one side with a matching color in just a few seconds. Not only was my grandson impressed, but his parents were as well! Grandma was a Rubik’s cube genius!

Then he asked me to do the other sides. Uh-oh. Grandma only knows how to complete one side at a time. I had a cube as a kid, and I could never get past one side. But hey, people who saw that one side were impressed!

This got me started thinking.

I can already hear some of you. “Oh, no… she’s thinking again! She’s going to somehow compare a stupid old Rubik’s cube to life.”

You’re right, that is exactly what I intend to do. I can finish one side of the cube, and it looks so good. Every little square is in its place, matching up perfectly with the others. But, turn the cube slightly and you will notice that the rest of the cube is a big jumbled mess.

It’s so easy to look at someone’s life and see that one perfect side. Social media is the worst. I look at people’s profiles/timelines and it seems like so many people have perfect little lives. Some people actually get discouraged when they compare their messy life to those Pinterest perfect people. I find myself feeling that way when I look at other people’s Facebook profiles..often.

A wise person (I say this because I can’t remember where I first heard it, ha) once posted this quote: “Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes with another person’s highlight reel”. How true is that? Most of what we see on social media are highlight reels. Heck, even most of my posts are highlight reels.

I used to gripe and complain about things on my Facebook. After seeing post after post from an acquaintance bitching about her life and posting those irritatingly vague “FML” type of posts, I decided from that point on I would try to only post positive things on my wall.

I post about my kids, my grandkids, trips and outings, holidays…good things. I share funny memes if I come across them. I’m sure I’ve lost a few friends along the way because they were tired of hearing about my kids.. they were tired of seeing my highlight reel. It is difficult to post only positive stuff without coming across as “braggy”. I actually enjoy seeing others post about their trips, families, and kids. I enjoy seeing good things happen for other people. Some don’t, and that’s fine.

One Side of the Cube

The things I post are just one side of the cube. Turn it over and you would see financial struggles, children struggling with various issues, hurt, sadness, chaos, pain, worry, jealousy, and so much more. Now and then, I do share another side of the cube…just to show that we all can’t be happy and cheerful one hundred percent of the time.

Another example of showing only one side of the cube is the way that a person presents themselves to the world. At this precise moment I am thinking of a few particular people that, upon outward appearances, seem to be kind, compassionate, and giving. Most people see only this side of them, but underneath the facade they are just the opposite. One nice, clean side for the world to see..but underneath is a jumbled mess of hatred and prejudice.

What about those people that have a good side but are so overwhelmed with chaos that they never show it? All we get to see is the messy sides. Many would shake their heads and disregard these type of people, or label them as no good. To me, this is the saddest example of not seeing all sides. Sometimes we are so focused on the bad that we completely forget about the good.

I work in the field of mental health, and I’ve met a lot of good people. We focus on strengths. Everybody has strengths. EVERYBODY HAS STRENGTHS.

Here is my challenge for you. Next time you see someone, find one good thing about them. It can be something big, or something tiny. When you find that thing, concentrate on that.