What 333 Means to Me

My older sister Lorna passed away 8 years ago. Lorna was only 52 years old, the same age that I am now. She had a cancer diagnosis at age 30, but had lived healthy and cancer free for 21 years..until it returned, with a vengeance.

Once re-diagnosed, we only had two short weeks with her. Not enough time to say or do all of the things that needed to be said or done. Not enough time.

I wrote about Lorna last year. Please, if you haven’t already, take a look at her story. You can find it here:

https://cookiesandcursewords.com/lornas-story-ovarian-cancer-sucks

3:33

Today I want to share another piece of information regarding my grief journey with Lorna. Family and a few friends know the following story, but I’ve never shared it publicly.

I always expected to have another conversation with her. I didn’t expect to get that call as I was in the car driving to see her in the hospital with board games in the back seat. We had arranged the day prior that I would bring up board games to pass the time and try to have a little fun. She wasn’t supposed to die that day. This wasn’t supposed to be happening.

After Lorna passed away, I missed her terribly..as did my two other siblings. She was truly one of my best friends, and I would never get to talk to her again.

One night, about two weeks after her death, I had an extremely vivid dream. In the dream I was upset, crying because I needed to talk to Lorna and she was gone. Suddenly, she was there.

After 8 years I don’t recall the entire conversation but I remember one thing distinctly. She said “you can call me anytime at 3:33 and I’ll be there”.  I was confused and asked her what she was talking about, but she just repeated the 3:33 and said that is the time I can call her.

My dream ended abruptly. I literally jolted awake, turned and looked at my alarm clock, and it said 3:33.

Seriously. I couldn’t make up this shit if I tried. I jolted awake from a sound sleep at 3:33 am.

But wait, there’s more..

For the next four to five months, I randomly woke up in the night at 3:33 am. This happened several nights a week.

After a few months, it stopped as quickly as it had started. I no longer woke up at 3:33.

What the heck? What had just happened? I have a theory and if you are a skeptic, you may think it is far-fetched and silly. Frankly, I don’t care what anybody thinks. This was my experience and it was as real as any other life experience that I’ve had.

I was having a really rough time accepting Lorna’s death. She came to me to help me get through those first hard months, and when I was ready..she let me move on.

Today

Every once in a while, on super hard days.. I still feel her presence. Just last week something took place, and I don’t believe it was coincidence.

After battling sickness for two weeks, I was exhausted. I made the decision to leave work a couple of hours earlier than I had planned, even though it meant working a couple more hours later in the week to make up for it.

As I drove  home, both mentally and physically exhausted, I glanced at the digital clock on the dashboard..it was 3:33 pm.  

Smiling, I started talking aloud in my car. “Ok, Lorna..I’m having a shitty day, shitty week , shitty month. Looking at the clock, I see that it’s time for a conversation with my sister.”   

I’m sure I looked like a lunatic, smiling and talking, alone in my car.

I continued the conversation on the drive home.  As I turned down my street I told Lorna that I sure would like a sign from her to let me know she’s listening.  

I pulled in the driveway, opened the door,  and as i swung my feet onto the pavement, I saw a penny right in front of my feet. I smiled and thanked her for the sign.

Pennies have always represented a sign from departed loved ones to me.. just letting me know that everything is okay.  Other people have different signs.. butterflies, dragonflies, feathers, any kind of change( including dimes, nickels, quarters).  To me, it’s a penny. No other coin.

Just a simple penny…and there it was.

I will NEVER forget to acknowledge my sister if  I happen to look at the clock at 3:33.  It truly has a special meaning to me, and I’m pleased to finally share it.

NOTE: My sister Jan reminded me of this verse..