A Visit From My Mom

As I write this, I’m still a bit groggy. It could be because I took NyQuil. I have a nasty cold coming on, so I took NyQuil and fell asleep at noon. It is now 4:53 pm. I actually feel like I could go back to sleep for the rest of the evening, but I have things to do. During my nap, the most amazing thing happened. I got a big hug from my mom.

I’m not usually an overly emotional person. I’m definitely not a hugger. Sure, I hug my kids and grandkids all the time.. but other than that, I keep my distance. I do not like my “personal bubble” invaded. I used to be a lot worse when it came to hugs, but it seems like since I lost several family members it has changed a bit. I will hug friends or family that I haven’t seen in a while. I hug my Air Force kid every time he leaves to travel 3 hours back to base. Since he’s only 3 hours away, he comes back often..but he knows that mom needs a big hug when he leaves.

I’ve had a lot of things on my mind lately..mostly just stupid financial crap. Instead of worrying, I decided to just turn it all over to God and it will work out how it is supposed to be. As I said, I’m not overly emotional, and I’m not overly religious. I believe in God and I do pray..actually it’s more of a conversation than a prayer. That’s exactly what it is-a friendly conversation with God. I’ve always wished I could be one of those people that got goosebumps or electricity through my entire body, but I never have. I still believe, but in a more reserved manner.

My Dream

This afternoon I dreamed of my mother. We were sitting next to each other drinking coffee, like we used to often do together. Mom and dad had a pot of coffee brewed from the time they got up in the morning until the moment that they went to bed at night. I knew that I was welcome to stop in for a cup of coffee anytime.

In my dream, mom was showing me a list of things she had to do. Of course, I didn’t realize it was a dream and I was so happy because she was herself again..her mind was clear and we were having a wonderful conversation. You see, my mom had a very debilitating stroke and was not the same for the last year of her life. Many days she didn’t even know who I was when I visited her, She was super sweet, though..and had no worries.

In the dream, mom asked me if I was okay. After this, she took ahold of both of my hands. It was so real, I can still feel her frail hands in mine. I burst into tears and fell into her arms. She gave me the longest, tightest hug. I didn’t want to let go. I was sobbing with my head on my mom’s shoulder. I woke up.

I’ve had dreams about my sister that passed away a few weeks before my mom. Those dreams were all within the first six months of her death, and they were really strange. Someday I may write about them, but for now only a few people know the details. As I said, those experiences stopped after about six months. Today was the first time I’ve dreamt of my mom so vividly. I think she knew I needed her.

If you’re lucky enough to still have your parents, savor those moments with them. I’m thankful for my dream hug that I got today, but I’d give anything to have a real one.