Centered : A guest post by April Olson

The following is a guest post from a friend of mine, April Olson.   Her words are touching, as she describes the inadequacies that we all feel, and the mental health benefits that occur when we take the time to find ourselves in the midst of chaotic life..the time to get “centered”.   The message she gives us in this post is an important one, and she also understands my reasons for doing this blog.  Thank you for sharing, April…I believe the readers will enjoy what you have to say. 🙂

A few years ago my husband bought me a gift certificate to Wichita Pottery. I had mentioned that I thought pottery would be fun and something I would like to learn. He even signed me up for the beginner class instead of leaving that to me. Sometimes he knows me a little too well. I was nervous but excited. I’m not the most social person and I am far from artistic but decided I would try it and have some fun.

We started out with a very small amount of clay and learned the basics of centering. It is harder than it looks but I managed to create a teeny tiny cylinder. I was stupid proud of that teeny tiny cylinder. I enjoyed the way the clay felt in my hands and the messiness of throwing things on the wheel. I’m a messy potter.

I actually quit pottery in the beginning and took a month off. I told myself it was too expensive and I wasn’t any good at it. I made all sorts of excuses but something told me to go back and stick with it a bit longer. We could go in on Fridays and practice without a teacher and I would look around and watch amazing things happening on the wheels. I felt inadequate. I felt silly and self conscious as I attempted and failed to center tiny bits of clay.  My pots were often wonky and uneven. Glazing did not always turn out as fabulous as I had imagined. I almost decided to quit another thing in my life but honestly I was really proud of my ugly little pots. I still have most of them.

I spent a while with my feelings and concluded that everyone I was watching and admiring had started somewhere and that every single one of them simply kept at it. I also decided that I enjoyed it and who cared if I wasn’t making great art so I persisted. I kept at it. I decided to put my ego aside and not be a quitter.

It is easy in life to lose yourself and get caught up in your children and chores and just the daily task of life. It is easy to forget who you are and slip into the backdrop of your own life, becoming a supporting character in someone else’s life. I had done that before pottery. Pottery has centered. I have benefited from it far more than pottery will ever benefit from me. Pottery has given me back something I was missing, myself. I had lost her. She had faded away into the background. There is research about the mental health benefits of working with your hands. I’m a believer. I find it very relaxing and better than any therapy I have ever been to. I love being able to make something useful whether it be a bowl, mug or flower pot. I have also made things from clay that serve no purpose other than I wanted to make it because it was fun. I have made pigs, cats and frogs.  The frogs look more like weird little aliens in my garden, but I love them.   I’ve given away pottery and I have pottery sitting in every nook and cranny in my house.  I  wonder if the recipients only politely accept my gifts. The old feeling of inadequacy still lingers.

I’ve also met some really nice people. I love hearing their stories and admiring their work. I still struggle with my introverted tendencies but do hope they all know how much I enjoy their company and how much I look forward to class with them every week. My teacher is fantastic and she is just a really nice person and brings joy to the class. Sheila, you make me want to be a better, kinder more social person. Thank you.

Create something even if nobody ever sees it or appreciates the work you put into making it. It’s okay to create things just for yourself. You are worth it. Maybe this is what our friend Christy is doing with her blog. She is creating something just for herself with the hopes that other people like it too and if it’s not their cup of tea, who cares? The right people will like it and she likes it. It is okay to do things just because you want to and just because you enjoy it. I have learned that through pottery. I don’t have to become a famous clay artist.  I don’t even have to make money doing it as some have suggested. I can do it simply because I love it and it brings me joy. Pottery has helped me in so many ways. I feel calmer. I am kinder to others. I am not angry as often. I have more patience. I don’t think the clay has magical properties but I do think telling myself I am worth it and I can do it is magical.