What’s Up?
Well, hello everyone! It’s been several months since I’ve written a blog post, so it’s time to check in. No, I didn’t give up my blog. Many people have been asking me this question, because I used to be so active on this page. I’ve …
Recent Posts
When The Last One Leaves
The day has finally come. I’ve had at least one child in the home since my first son was born. At the time I was 17 years, 10 months, and 4 days old. Today I am 54 years, 1 month, and 26 days old. There …
Mom, You’re Too Old For A Tattoo!
Most people don’t know that I had a tattoo at all, but I do. I have a little tiny sunflower on my right ankle. The sunflower is supposed to have a peace sign in the middle of it, but it never really looked like a peace sign. The middle just looks like a big black blob. . I got this tattoo when I split up from my first husband. Maybe it was my little way of rebelling, heck I don’t know. All I do know is that I heard my mothers voice the entire time that I was getting the tattoo..well I actually didn’t hear my mothers voice but I was hearing it in my head.
For several months after I got this teeny tiny tattoo, I tried to hide it from my mother. Yes, I know I was over 30 years old at the time and shouldn’t have given a care what she thought..but she had drilled into my thoughts with her tattoo hatred and I didn’t want to disappoint her yet again. I made sure that I always wore socks to cover the tattoo on my ankle, but at one point I slipped and she noticed it. Much to my surprise she really didn’t make a big deal out of it. She just sighed and shook her head (like she did with so many other things that I put her through, ha).
When I got this tattoo, all of my friends said that this was just going to make me want more and more of them. It didn’t. I lived with this one tiny little tattoo on my ankle for all of these years with no desire to get another one.
I broke my ankle a few years back and the doctor told me that they were going to have to cut through my tattoo when they did surgery to put the plate and screws in. Much to my surprise, when I woke up from the surgery they had actually cut around my teeny tiny tattoo and it was fine. Still, I never desired to get another.
Until now..
My step daughter Kristi posted one of those silly little things on Facebook that dared me to get a matching tattoo with her. Normally I would just ignore these things, but I’ve been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone a little bit lately and this tattoo of an itty bitty dinosaur was adorable! I agreed to do it.
I set up an appointment, and for the next several days I could once again hear my dear departed mother saying “you KNOW that will be on your body for the rest of your life. Imagine what you will look like when you’re 90 years old with that dinosaur on you”! Well, I guess I’ll look like an old lady with an itty bitty dinosaur on me!
After we got the matching tattoos, I posted a picture of them on Facebook. Several people thought that they weren’t real, maybe because they were super simple..or maybe because they thought I would be crazy to actually get a little dinosaur tattoo at almost age 54!
I’ve named my tattoo Danny. Here are the reasons for the name:
- One of my favorite children’s books is Danny and the Dinosaur.
- My friend asked me if this is my Imagine Dragon tattoo (I love that band). Lead singer of Imagine Dragons is Dan Reynolds..Danny.
- My mother always told me that I would have been named Danny if I was a boy.
- Danny Dinosaur just sounds cute. Ha!
Will I ever get another tattoo? Well, if I stick to my pattern of getting one tattoo every 21 years, I will get another one at age 75. Any recommendations? 😊
My Experience with the Covid Vaccine
The following is my own personal experience with the Covid vaccine. For those that don’t know me, I am a 53 year old woman, in the health care field, overweight (technically obese but I hate that term), and relatively healthy. When Covid first hit …
Welcome to 2021!
Happy New Year! The year 2020 is finally a memory, and will be remembered by many as one of the strangest years ever. Many will say it was the worst year ever. Many lives were lost due to the Coronovirus pandemic. It was a year …
I Don’t Want You To Be A Memory
My cousin Julie passed away yesterday. I knew it was coming, she had terminal cancer. I wasn’t able to see her near the end, but I did have a nice phone conversation with her a few weeks ago. We kept the conversation light. We laughed, just like we have laughed together so many times through the years. I am thankful for that phone call. That moment..along with so many other “insignificant” moments along the way, are memories I will always treasure.
But tonight, one thought hit me like a ton of bricks.
I don’t want her to be a memory. I don’t want to just remember her voice, her smile, the laughter. I want to know that the next time I am at a family event I will seek her out and pick right back up where we left off, like we always do.
I want to talk about the time that the dog babysat me all morning when i was five years old, because my dad forgot that my aunt was out of town and dropped me off at her house before kindergarten like he did every morning. That story brings a laugh every time.
I want to talk about those fun family reunions in Wichita when we were teenagers.
I want to hear her stories, sometimes long winded but always so animated and entertaining.
I don’t want her to be a memory, just like my parents..my sister..my grandparents..her sister Jane..her dad..other cousins..and so many others.
I’m happy that her suffering is over, and the thought of her reuniting with that big group of wonderful people is comforting. I believe that death is something beautiful for the dying, but the people left behind are the ones hurting. Hurting because we will miss their presence in our daily lives.
So, yes.. I don’t want her to be just a memory. I want her to be a hope. I will carry her with me as a part of me, as I do my other loved ones that have passed. Every one of them has changed my life in some way to make me the person I am, and my hope is that we will meet again to laugh and catch up. I believe we will.
A Moment of Reflection, A Moment of Unity
It has been months since I’ve written a blog post. With all of the chaos of today’s world, the motivation to write a post just has not been there. Last week there was a morning that I got to work super early and had …
“Upheaval“ by Adrienne Towner
The following is a guest post by my very talented friend, Adrienne Towner. I sincerely hope this is the first of many contributions from this very special lady! Have you ever made a mistake…? Done something that you immediately regret..? Tried to make someone …
My Social Distancing Experience
The past couple of months have been interesting. What have I learned/done during my time of social distancing?
I learned that I can work from home. I made a daily plan,stuck with it and literally crossed off my accomplishments from my list daily. I learned that I actually concentrate better when I’m not chatting with co-workers! My new daily morning routine involves rolling out of bed and stumbling to my computer. I do get dressed, but I take my time. It will take a week or so of practice when we are back to the normal work situation.
I had one of my best birthdays ever. Between my friends, family, and kids, it was a very special day.
I ordered gifts for others online. It was actually much simpler than scrambling to find something at the last minute. I ordered small Easter toys, baskets, and candy for grandkids. I put thought into birthday gifts for my sister and my friends, and ordered them in plenty of time for their birthday. I actually listened to my husband and ordered his Father’s Day gifts.
Even though I missed two concert events that I was really anticipating, I learned to enjoy free online home concerts from some of the country singers that I used to like. I streamed a couple of Broadway plays and enjoyed them from home. I watched American Idol contestants performing from home and it was fun to see a local kid as the runner-up.
My husband and I worked to get things done around the house for ourselves. We painted our bedroom, ripped old carpets out and got new carpet. My husband did most of the work. He built us a cute little deck/hideaway at the side of our house. We’ve spent time out there daily, away from our phones, just sitting and visiting. He also installed a new (to us) dishwasher. After a year of handwashing dishes and jenga stacking the dish drainer, this is a real treat.
Speaking of Treats..
I’ve treated myself. I bought two new sets of sheets.. GOOD sheets. Normally I just buy the cheapest sheets I can at Wal-Mart. This time I did research, I read reviews, and I bought sheets that feel like heaven.
I ordered myself some special shoes for my feet. I’ve had a bunion problem for years in my right foot that is very painful. This is one of the reasons that you don’t catch me wearing cutesy shoes, it just hurts too much. These shoes I ordered are made specifically to help with bunions. I haven’t received them yet but I’m excited to see if they help.
I pissed people off. Most people would say that’s not a good thing, but for me it actually is. When I was younger, I would speak my mind and not really care about it. As I’ve aged (and matured I suppose), I’ve avoided confrontation at all costs. I don’t speak my mind politically, and the one time I did a couple of years ago, I of course was seen as the “bad guy” because that person wasn’t used to me outwardly defending my political views. I’ve always tried to see both sides of every story and I try to be the peacemaker. But during this COVID19 situation, I must be feeling frustrated.. or bold..or bored.. because I’ve managed to piss a few off. I even got blocked from the guy that used to do a local news page (and no, it was nothing political). He thought I was “friends with” someone that I defended in a comment.. so when he blocked this woman’s entire family, I was included. Little does he know that I have never met the woman in my life.. I was just standing up for something I believed to be wrong. There were other instances as well, that I won’t get into..but I will say that I have made the decision to get back to the person I used to be and speak my mind instead of holding things in. I didn’t intentionally set out to piss people off, but it is what it is. I’ve accepted the fact that everybody isn’t going to like me, and that’s okay.
I tried new recipes(when I could find the ingredients). Some were decent, and some were flops. Some I loved, but my family hated.
We got a new grandbaby, and she’s a beauty!
I’ve developed two new addictions. One is Outshine frozen fruit bars, and the other is a guilty pleasure. 90 Day Fiance (before the 90 days). It is one of those trainwreck shows that pulls a person in, never to let go. My husband is addicted, too (although he’ll never admit it). 🙂
During this time, I haven’t worried about writing my blog. It has been almost two months since my last new post. My domain renewal was the first of May, and I struggled with the decision of whether to renew or not..just unsure of whether it was worth the money it costs me to keep it going.
Ultimately, I decided that I need my blog. I may not post often anymore, but it is there if I feel like expressing my feelings. It is there if I want to post a recipe. It is there if a friend needs to express their feelings. For at least another year, Cookies and Cursewords will be here.
What have YOU been doing the last couple of months?
Working From Home: Week One
Is This Real? As I sit here at home on this Saturday (wait..it IS Saturday, right?) morning, I am contemplating what is on my agenda today. Tackle cobwebs, vacuum, laundry-just normal Saturday morning stuff. But this is no normal Saturday morning. This is the first …
